You must unlearn what you have learned.

Today marks my fifth week in China. In many ways it feels like the time here has gone by so quickly. Yet at the same time it seems like my last slice of American pizza was a very long time ago. More and more China is starting to feel a bit like home and then comes some insane curveball thrown toward your midsection to knock that breeze of comfort right out of your lungs. Over the past week there have been a few of these interesting lessons that I would like to recount to all of you waguorens (foreigners) back at home.

#1. Massages, while insanely cheap, can be a little on the weird side.
-After competing extensively in a shotput type event Jon decided it was high time for us to get a Chinese massage. Accompanied by our fearless friend Kevin, we purchased a 2 hour long rub down from some Chinese experts for a mere 50 yuan, or about 7 bucks. While parts of this experience were extremely enjoyable (i.e. the hot foot soak and rub), others felt more closely tied to what I would refer to as a beating (i.e. when they "massaged" my stomach a.k.a. transferred all their weight into a fist pressing down on my kidneys).

#2. A few dumplings are delicious; 35 dumplings make you feel worse than the economic crisis.
-My teammates and I were invited to the house of our dear teacher friend Sophie for a fun filled night of dumpling construction and consumption. Our construction efforts were slightly mocked as our Chinese friends relished the opportunity to point out our clumsiness at folding the slabs of dough into neat hot-pocket like purses. Unfortunately, we did such a good job at making the dumplings that there was way more food than necessary, resulting in a "dumpling game" involving laughs, numbers, and overeating dangerous proportions of food. The next few days were spent in recovery with a diet consisting solely of noodles.


#3. Physicals in America are pretty good but in China there is no cutting corners.
-Yesterday all the foreign teachers at Hebei University went on a 2.5 hour bus ride to the capital city of Shijiazhuang (don't worry I can't say it either). We were there to get our physical examinations in order to get our extended teaching visas for the year. Apparently, the Chinese were not completely satisfied with the physical I had before I left in August and wanted to double check to make sure everything was in order. This included the normal things like examinging my height & weight, a blood test, and a confusing eye exam involving strange characters pointed in different directions. They also decided it was a good idea to give me what I am pretty sure was an ultrasound despite my best efforts to ensure them that I was, in fact, not pregnant. I did not try in the least to contain my laughter as they put slimy jelly (my actual stomach is not pictured here) on my tummy and proceeded to rub some kind of mechanical device over my vital organs.

Now I know and in China knowing is probably even more than half the battle. At least two-thirds, or even five-sevenths. In other news, I went to the market with some friends yesterday with the specific intent of buying a speaker for my iPod. Instead I came back with a pair of balls that you roll around your hand, a sword, and a string of Christmas lights. All in all, a satisfactory outing. Now if only I could find a Kung Fu master to teach me...