You must unlearn what you have learned.

Today marks my fifth week in China. In many ways it feels like the time here has gone by so quickly. Yet at the same time it seems like my last slice of American pizza was a very long time ago. More and more China is starting to feel a bit like home and then comes some insane curveball thrown toward your midsection to knock that breeze of comfort right out of your lungs. Over the past week there have been a few of these interesting lessons that I would like to recount to all of you waguorens (foreigners) back at home.

#1. Massages, while insanely cheap, can be a little on the weird side.
-After competing extensively in a shotput type event Jon decided it was high time for us to get a Chinese massage. Accompanied by our fearless friend Kevin, we purchased a 2 hour long rub down from some Chinese experts for a mere 50 yuan, or about 7 bucks. While parts of this experience were extremely enjoyable (i.e. the hot foot soak and rub), others felt more closely tied to what I would refer to as a beating (i.e. when they "massaged" my stomach a.k.a. transferred all their weight into a fist pressing down on my kidneys).

#2. A few dumplings are delicious; 35 dumplings make you feel worse than the economic crisis.
-My teammates and I were invited to the house of our dear teacher friend Sophie for a fun filled night of dumpling construction and consumption. Our construction efforts were slightly mocked as our Chinese friends relished the opportunity to point out our clumsiness at folding the slabs of dough into neat hot-pocket like purses. Unfortunately, we did such a good job at making the dumplings that there was way more food than necessary, resulting in a "dumpling game" involving laughs, numbers, and overeating dangerous proportions of food. The next few days were spent in recovery with a diet consisting solely of noodles.


#3. Physicals in America are pretty good but in China there is no cutting corners.
-Yesterday all the foreign teachers at Hebei University went on a 2.5 hour bus ride to the capital city of Shijiazhuang (don't worry I can't say it either). We were there to get our physical examinations in order to get our extended teaching visas for the year. Apparently, the Chinese were not completely satisfied with the physical I had before I left in August and wanted to double check to make sure everything was in order. This included the normal things like examinging my height & weight, a blood test, and a confusing eye exam involving strange characters pointed in different directions. They also decided it was a good idea to give me what I am pretty sure was an ultrasound despite my best efforts to ensure them that I was, in fact, not pregnant. I did not try in the least to contain my laughter as they put slimy jelly (my actual stomach is not pictured here) on my tummy and proceeded to rub some kind of mechanical device over my vital organs.

Now I know and in China knowing is probably even more than half the battle. At least two-thirds, or even five-sevenths. In other news, I went to the market with some friends yesterday with the specific intent of buying a speaker for my iPod. Instead I came back with a pair of balls that you roll around your hand, a sword, and a string of Christmas lights. All in all, a satisfactory outing. Now if only I could find a Kung Fu master to teach me...

When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master!

Well I may not be the master quite yet but I must be getting close. This past week my friend and fellow teacher in the English department named Sophie and I were discussing the the speech competition that several students I know are competing in. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Too bad the competition is in Qinhuangdao and on a school day. I would have loved to hear all the students speeches.
Sophie: We are having a practice on Sunday, perhaps you would like to come watch and ask them questions.
Me: Uh sure, what kind of questions would that be?
Sophie: After their speeches you give them a question about it. You will be great!

I have been hearing this phrase passed my way a lot lately. Apparently the Chinese have a lot of confidence in my ability to do just about anything (except order food at restaurants, they have caught onto that one). With this kind of affirmation how could I do anything but accept. Sounds great right? I'll get to hear a few of my friends give speeches, maybe meet a few more that are in the competition, mingle with the English department, what could go wrong?

The week passes normally (a relative term) and on Sunday I get my first inkling that I could have gotten a little more than I bargained for. Sophie calls me and tells me she will pick me up early so that I can join the other teachers and faculty for dinner (Clue #1). Next she says I should go ahead and dress nice (Clue #2). We get to dinner and I find myself among the entire English department faculty and administration at a dinner where fish is served (Clue #3 - fish is expensive and reserved for more special occasions). At this point I am a little unsure exactly what this "practice" I am attending constitutes. During dinner I realize that all the dishes added to the table are seeming to come my way first, puzzled, I turn to my friend Nick and ask him the reason. "Ahh" he says, "You are the honored guest. You are Question Master for the evening (Big Clue #4)." After seeing my confusion he briefly explains that I am the one and only questioner to all the students competing in the speech contest and that this evening is their formal practice before the full scale competition next weekend.

I began to sweat and not just because of the spicy kung pao chicken I had been eating (well maybe a little but that was some awesome chicken). After dinner, I apprehensively walked with the other teachers into the neighboring building and enter a large classroom filled with well over a hundred students, teachers, and faculty. As the competition began I learned that my task was to listen to 2 speeches from each competing student, one impromptu on an random topic, and one prepared speech. After each speech I was to ask a poignant question regarding their speech t0 challenge them.

Albeit a month ago I might've been sweating bullets at this point and looking for the nearest unbarred window but I have started to learn a few things in China and that when you relax, things tend to work out alright. Part of this is due to the fact that most foreigners are so fascinating to the Chinese that they could care less how stupid the nonsensical redundant question I just asked him or her was. In reality, it all played out fine. For the most part I was able to have fun asking questions to the students I knew and perform adequately even when I could barely understand what the point of that 3 minute speech about 1 + 1 = harmony nonsense was about. I'm learning that part of the excitement about living in a place like China is that you never know what is around the next corner, or kind of crazy event the next seemingly casual conversation could draw you into!

Anyway China is still way better than Japan. I hear they do this to all the foreign teachers there!

Look Sir, Droids!

This past weekend we embarked on a speedy trip from Baoding to Beijing and back again. The five members of team Baoding ventured out to the big city to see our fellow IECS team members from Langfang and Tianjin. The trip blew by as we left Friday morning and returned Satuday night.

When traveling in China there is never a dull moment. Although Beijing is relatively close to Baoding, getting there is still something of an ordeal. My favorite form of travel is by train. I was introduced to this vehicular luxury when traveling across Europe this past summer with my brother. Compared with the hassle of driving a car or being jammed in a plane seat while stuck on a runway for two hours, anything starts to look good. However, riding in a European railcar is truly an exercise in relaxation. All one has to do is catch the train and everything else is taken care of. You can order food (nothing like plane food mind you) get up and walk around the spacious aisles, or doze in your comfy chair while watching the beautiful scenery sail by...

With these conjured images of train euphoria in my mind, I looked forward to our quick train to Beijing. To be fair I did expect it might be a bit different, perhaps not as nice, maybe a little more crowded, my seat a bit smaller, etc. Unfortunately, I grossly underestimated the power of 1.3 billion Chinese on a National holiday. The experience more resembled the trucks of chickens that I used to see driving down the highway back in Virginia. The chickens were so stuffed in there little pens that you could tell neither beak from claw, a flying feather fiasco as they barreled down the highway at 80 miles an hour. So team Baoding traveled to Beijing in a car so packed with people that it seemed to take most of the voyage to literally shove our way to our seats where we had to give a couple of freeloaders the boot. In truth it wasn't so bad once we were seated and on the bright side it was a speedy way to travel.

We stepped off the train to a beautiful clear day in Beijing that made us quickly forget the hassles of the commute. We spent the afternoon shopping at various locations and walking around the city a bit with IECS Director Newt, his wife Claire, and staff member Tony. Towards the latter part of the afternoon Jon and I ventured off on our own to see the worlds largest Apple store. We discovered it in a metropolitan jungle of high-end stores in Beijing's commercial district, the enormous apple shining like a one of those electric bug zappers that lures over-curious insects to their swift demise. We felt right at home in the midst of all the fantastic merchandise and by an extreme test of will were able to escape with only a few small purchases.

Saturday was spent with all of the IECS folks together in China for the first time and was an awesome time of fun and fellowship. Our team left for home, sad to say goodbye to Newt and Claire heading back to the States but with hearts full of encouragement from our friends.